iLEYY

A pebble in the sand.

One among more than a million others.

We all look the exactly the same.

Yet we all couldn’t be any more different than night & day.

We all have our set purpose in this world filled with love & hate.

Together we sit here waiting.

Getting stepped on, kicked, and blown by the wind.

Waiting for our set date to wander off on our own.

Waiting for a connection, a destination, a sign, an anything.

Truth is we will never know when Mother Nature is bound to move us.

The wind may blow in a minute, an hour, maybe a day?

An earthquake, a hurricane, a tornado may come to twist up our miserable lives.

Our happiness shall come one day.

Whether it is today or the next day.

It will be ONE day.

No more shall we be mere pieces of the ground.

No more shall we be judged and misunderstood.

No more shall we be walked over and talked about.

No more shall we be PEBBLES in the sand.

She was born a woman,

The urges, the desires, the feelings,

She couldn’t escape her destiny,

It was meant to happen this way.

It had been written by the man up above.

But why her? Why did he pick this innocence?

She had no name given to her.

She was only meant to be called she.

“Whore”, “slut”,” bitch”, “stupid cunt.”

Those were nicknames worn on her sleeves.

Yet she never wore any.

She showed off her body to everyone who paid to see it.

She gave into her heat of the moment passion.

The men, they all wanted her because she was she.

And they could have her because she wanted them too.

Wanted them to love her if only for the night.

In and out like a revolving door,

Yet at night tears, they ran down her pale face as she lay there alone.

The pain she had inside her since the age of five.

The betrayal, the pain, and the crime.

The pettiness, the childhood, HER childhood was taken.

Her womanhood was taken before she became one.

Her life, it was taken before she could live it.

What could be done now?

Forget, forgive, be strong.

Standing there her feet wouldnt move
voice wouldnt let her speak
her body was so numb now
the thoughts they made her weak
his name she heard her scream
the sound she did not make 
her nightmare became reality
nothing false and far from fake 
two things she could do
do something or let it be
her choice was not so hard
finally the truth she did see
cold metal in her hands
to take the pain away
only thing to deal with then 
is her pain on judgement day
no backing down
this had to be done
center of her world
she had placed him as the sun
for minutes she stood there
he had been warned
HELL HATH NO FURY
LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED.

Her wall goes UP

LOVE LOCKS down.

she’s BROKEN

hurt.

confused.

used

abused.

crying

dying.

but what can she do?

nothing.

and what does he say?

get over it.

then what do they say?

move on.

so which advice does she take?

none.

it was a lesson to learn.

“NEVER GIVE 100 AND GET NOTHING IN RETURN”.

silly me.

as he layed me down to sleep

his heart and soul i vowed to keep.

his mind i had already won

yet this love journey had only begun.

many questions here and there

but would he give his heart to share?

would he let his love decieve me?

what would this grow to be?

i wanted to be his only mate

though this would only be by fate.

in him i wanted all my trust

to fall in love with one i did lust.

in fact i was scared to love this man

was this apart of my life’s plan?

instead of falling i pushed him away

told him to go yet wanted him to stay.

i was paranoid, confused, and heartbroken

but what could i do after all the words spoken?

to stop my own hurt i probably hurt him

said wreckless things & went out on a whim.

i didnt mean to but my mind had it bad

so bad to realize all the good that i had.

now where do i go from here?

when love was so near

yet so far.

just a stubborn girl trying to reach for a star.

silly me.

To hear the sounds of extacy
would cause her ears to bleed
because he should be next to her
but his heart is filled with greed
him & her forever
no more apart of the plan
we will never see them together
because she chose a new man
but what if he chose
to make the same mistake?
what if she had to witness
yet another heartbreak
does she have to take her chances
and give this man her all?
or should she keep it real
ignoring every call?
love is like a game
and she started off so well
but she became a prisoner
feeling trapped in a cell
there will be a day
when she can laugh about her past
but until then she only cries
because she doesnt know how long heartbreak lasts.
thanks to this thing called LOVE.

THIS IS A STORY OF A GIRL

A GIRL THAT HAD A HEART

SHE WANTED TO GIVE HER HEART AWAY

BUT DIDNT KNOW WHERE TO START

EVERYTIME SHE WANTED TO

SOMETHING JUST WASNT RIGHT

SHE ALWAYS SEEMED TO LOSE

IN THIS LOVE && HATRED FIGHT

SHE STARTED TO JUST GIVE UP

ON LIFE && LOVE BOTH

BECAUSE FINDING LOVE BECAME OBSESSION

WHICH IS SOMETHIN SHE DOES LOATH

EVERY BATTLE SHE WAS IN

A PIECE OF HER HEART BROKE

THEY ALL FELT LIKE A NIGHTMARE

OR JUST A CRUEL SICK JOKE

HER FACE WORE A SMILE

SO NO ONE KNEW HER PAIN

ITS LIKE HER BRIGHT LIT SUNSHINE

ALWAYS SEEMED TO TURN TO RAIN

SO NOW THERES ONE PIECE LEFT

OF THIS HEART OF HERS TO TAKE

BUT SHES TOO SCARED TO GIVE IT OUT

BECAUSE A FOOL IN LOVE SHE’D MAKE.

I’m so pessimistic

after everything they put me thru

its hard to be realistic

when everyone is judging you

opinions given even when not in need

tellin me what to do and say

even about ME i had to read

but that’s not what went on that day

were only as good as what we love

so what kinda love should this be?

is it like the birds up above

or like the fish in the sea?

will it move slowly throughout my life

like the turtle && hare race?

will i ever become someones wife

&& say “I do” to their face?

hard to be positive when love turns to hate

in a world of negative && lust

but one day everyone must find their mate

someone to hold && to trust

i hope one day i get my chance

to walk on down that aisle

be at my wedding && just dance

but I’ll probably have to wait a while.

&& in the end I’m STILL pessimistic.

HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHAT THE PERFECT LIFE IS LIKE?

IF IT WILL SLAM A DOOR IN YOUR FACE?

TELL YOU TO “TAKE A HIKE”?

THIS IS WHAT MY LIFE HAS COME TO

TV && MAGAZINES TELL PEOPLE WHAT TO DO

WHAT TO WEAR && WHAT TO KNOW

THE STORES WHERE “THE PRICES ARE LOW”

TEENS DRINKING && ALL TYPES OF DRUGS

FIVE YEAR OLDS NOW TRYNA BE “THUGS”

WHY CANT EVERYONE JUST BE THE SAME?

WHAT IF NOBODY EVEN HAD A NAME?

IF WE ALL WALKED AROUND JOLLY && HAPPY

NO ONE COULD EVER SAY “TODAY I FEEL CRAPPY”

NO SUCH THING AS A RECESSION

&& WHAT ON EARTH IS “THE GREAT DEPRESSION”?

A HOUSE ON A BLOCK FOR EVERYONE TO LIVE IN

WHEN WE PLAY WE ALL CAN FINALLY WIN!

I WISH LIFE WAS AS SIMPLE AS CAN BE

NO MORE YOU && I, THERES SIMPLY A WE

BUT MY LIFE IS NOT THEIRS, MY LIFE BEGINS WITH ME.

loving never felt so good

when its called motherhood

ten little fingers and ten little toes

cute little eyes and cute little nose

a smile could light up your life

a cry could cut like a knife

this bond nobody could break

this angel of yours was no mistake

a job on its own should probably get paid

but on your own this blessing not made

i guess you can say your partner in crime

to be by your side time after time

some may call this a bundle of joy

innocent, precious, beautiful, coy

so perfect in every single way

by your side where you want her to stay

a new life began put the old to an end

with her much time you plan to spend

who would’ve thought your life this would be

but whos life is this? this life is for me.

 SHE waited and waited all night long

for her prince charming to be

though everyone told her she was wrong

there was no man such as he

she simply replied “he wouldnt have lied, its just a long ride thru the storm you see”

she paced the floor, and looked out the door

for the man that would soon be here

her mind was screaming, “no more no more”

her heart said “have no fear”

four days she went, many hours she spent

without her love by her side

then songs from a bird and foot steps she heard

as he entered her door filled with pride.